Doctrinal Studies

Principles Related to Marriage

With respect to marriage there are three spiritual “areas” described in Eph 4:30-32 that we can live in: verse 30—perpetual carnality (the cause), verse 31—perpetual mental attitude sins (the problem), and verse 32—perpetual harmony (the solution). Where are you living in your marriage—in Eph 4:30, 31, or 32?

1. If a believer lives in Eph 4:30 (perpetual carnality) then his capacity for love in life will be destroyed.

2. When love for life is destroyed then the person will continually grieve the Holy Spirit.

3. Grieving the Holy Spirit means that there is perpetual; carnality according to I Cor 3:1-3.

4. If there is perpetual carnality then the person will live a life of misery and disruption.

5. Continual misery and disruption indicates a huge spiritual problem with a tremendous accumulation of garbage in the soul.

6. In this condition such believers don’t look for solutions; rather they are self centered “...lovers of pleasure instead of lovers of God.”

7. The only solution to this major difficulty in marriage begins with restoration to fellowship (RTF) according to I John 1:9.

8. After being restored to a right relationship with the Heavenly Father, and with an intensified intake of spiritual fuel, the person can then abide in the fruits of Eph 4:32— “Kindness, tenderhearted, and forgiving.”

9. If there is bitterness (the first word in Eph 4:31) or malice (the last word in Eph 4:31) then blessings will be turned to cursing. A bitter person is entangled in Satan’s system—a perpetual problem. A malicious person has a lust to hurt, which is also a perpetual problem.

10. For a marriage to be what God planned it to be there must be the attitude manifested by the Lord Jesus Christ in forgiveness (Eph 4:32).

Advice to a Young Man

Many a young man has proceeded down the path of folly in the area of sexual arrogance, not understanding until the end of his life that sexual arrogance leads to frustration, lack of fulfillment, the squandering of his manhood, dissipation, sexual death, even physical death, and worst, the missing out on the wonderful sex relationship God has provided for the right man and the right woman. Read what God’s Word says about it in those gems of practical application, the Proverbs:

Proverbs 5

1. My son, pay attention to my wisdom, listen well to my words of insight,

2. that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge.

3. For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil;

4. but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword.

5. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave.

6. She gives no thought to the way of life; her paths are crooked, but she knows it not.

7. Now then, my sons, listen to me; do not turn aside from what I say.

8. Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house,

9. lest you give your best strength to others and your years to one who is cruel,

10.lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich another man's house.

11.At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent.

12.You will say, "How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction!

13.I would not obey my teachers or listen to my instructors.

14.I have come to the brink of utter ruin in the midst of the whole assembly."

15.Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.

16.Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares?

17.Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.

18.May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.

19.A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.

20.Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife?

21.For a man's ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all his paths.

22.The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast.

_23. He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.